The blog of this guy from Poland who meditates by wandering around, snapping photos, running TTRPGs, and playing video games.

  • music


    Fantasy and Nostalgia. A Conversation with Kasia Worek

    Fantasy and Nostalgia. A Conversation with Kasia Worek

    Kasia Worek is not only a talented illustrator and electronic music producer—whose tracks I listen to far too much—but also an intriguing internet persona. I spoke with Kasia about her work, interests, and online presence.

    How would you describe your graphic style?

    I think my style is dreamlike and symbolic. A bit strange, like a dream whose meaning you have to search for—or create yourself. There’s a lot of fantasy and nostalgia in it. It’s a colorful world where human experiences are told in unusual ways, often through non-human characters.

    What techniques do you use?

    Most of my works are digital. I draw on a tablet. I also sometimes draw on paper, mainly sketches. Occasionally, I paint.

    What software do you draw in?

    I use Clip Studio Paint.

    What’s your creative process like?

    Lubię być sama, kiedy rysuję. Czasem puszczam sobie do tego podcast lub audiobooka. Lubię to, bo wtedy patrząc na rysunek potrafię sobie przypomnieć, czego wtedy słuchałam. Ilustracja ma zatopione w sobie jakieś dodatkowe wspomnienie. Zdarza mi się czasem, że biorę tablet do knajpy lub pociągu, ale wtedy raczej pracuję nad jakąś zaczętą ilustracją. Pracuję nad tym żebym mogła rysować zawsze i wszędzie, niezależnie od tego czy mi się chce, czy nie, i niezależnie od warunków, ale najlepiej tworzy mi się samej w domu. Ogólnie lubię być sama. W domu.

    I like to be alone when I draw. Sometimes I’ll play a podcast or an audiobook. I like that, because then when I look at the drawing, I can remember what I was listening to at the time. The illustration has some extra memory embedded in it. Sometimes I’ll take my tablet to a café or on a train, but in those cases I’m usually working on an illustration I’ve already started. I’m working on being able to draw anytime and anywhere—whether I feel like it or not, and regardless of conditions—but I create best alone at home. In general, I like being alone. At home.

    When creating, do you think about your audience?

    I create based on my own feelings and thoughts; I don’t think about whether someone will like it. Of course, I’m aware that as humans we share similar feelings and problems, so if someone feels a special connection with my work, I’m deeply moved and happy. But I mainly create for myself, out of an inner need. Recently, I was even a little worried that my works aren’t really suitable for hanging at home—unless someone wants nightmares—but on the other hand, my own home is full of horrors and I feel good in it. It’s a very personal matter, what someone likes and why.

    What things inspire you?

    Everything inspires me, you could say. Random thoughts that appear just before sleep, an unexpected emotion caught on a train, books I’ve read, phrases I’ve overheard, movies, people.

    What do you like to do in your free time? Do those things influence your work?

    In my free time, I mainly create. And if I’m not creating, there’s a good chance I’m playing a game, reading, or exercising. Does that influence me? Definitely. I think especially games. In games, I can fully immerse myself in another world, and I try to create that same possibility for my audience—both in my music and my illustrations.

    I can’t not ask. What games?

    Lately, I’ve been into slashers. Right now I’m playing Bayonetta and the first Devil May Cry on Xbox. And I’m grinding through Dark Souls one and two—although “grinding” might be the wrong word because I really love the Souls games. I finished three on PC and I adore it. I’m also playing Teamfight Tactics at the moment. I always keep a strategy game on hand for breaks during the day—once it was Gwint (Gwent), now it’s TFT. In the evenings, I play more time-consuming titles on Xbox or PC. Usually RPGs.

    Do you see music as an addition to your illustrations, or as something equal to them?

    Equal to drawing. Over time, I even began devoting more attention to it than to illustration. I started creating in 2023 because I was going through a very difficult period and needed a process I could fully immerse myself in. When you’re drawing, you can think about other things, talk, even watch a show at the same time. When you’re making music, you’re making music.

    It’s easy to imagine someone picking up drawing, but for me, starting with electronic music feels completely abstract.

    I’m lucky that my boyfriend is a very good music producer, so I asked him to show me how Ableton works. Learning new software is always a huge joy for me, so it went smoothly. I’d wanted to make music for a very long time, but fear of failure held me back. I’m surrounded by musicians, and I was simply afraid of embarrassing myself. After all, I have no education in this area, I don’t play any instruments, nothing. The first song I released, Journey, was also the first song I ever made in my life. It turned out my gut feeling about music was right. It just sort of happens—I don’t know how. Sometimes I open a project after many months and I’m shocked that I made something like that, because I have no clue how it’s possible. It’s a very intuitive process, and that’s what I like most about it.

    What are your dream projects for which you’d like to create music or illustrations?

    I’d love to make music for an RPG with a dark fantasy vibe—that would be amazing. As for illustrations, I’d love to illustrate some mythology, or the Bible (no joke—I once had such a proposal, but it didn’t work out). It would also be awesome to draw for the magazine Nieznany Świat (“Unknown World” in Polish—the oldest magazine in Poland devoted to esotericism, parapsychology, medicine, dowsing, astrology, UFOs, and other phenomena of nature).

    Reading Nieznany Świat (Unknown World) really suits you! By the way, on your main Instagram account you call yourself “Your Aura Dealer.” What’s behind that?

    That description changes pretty often and is usually a bit tongue-in-cheek—just like my online presence. I think I’ve created a persona that is, on the one hand, very much me, but on the other hand, is still crafted in some way. That crafted side creates a certain mystical aura, and since it’s deliberately emphasized, you can draw from it. Honestly, I didn’t have anything specific in mind when I wrote that description—that’s my secondary interpretation. I’m curious about yours.

    I didn’t want to share my impressions before hearing yours. To me, besides being a creator, you’re very much an internet persona. Everything you post—your art, the things you share in stories, the photos and videos of outfits, the adventures with pressure washers—creates a very cohesive character that seems to exist somewhere between truth and fantasy. What is @doomed_fairy, your second Instagram account, to you?

    Ah, that’s my channel that I—hopefully—will return to once I get things sorted out. After moving, my clothes are still in boxes, and I really like dressing up. I don’t want to spam my main account with that, so I figured it would be good to have a separate one. It’s fun for me. I have a bit of an issue with what I should and shouldn’t post on my account—I don’t really filter it much. I felt the need to draw a line. So, if you want to see what’s in my closet, you’re welcome.

    Kasia Worek online

    The cover photo is by Robert Cebulski.
  • music


    My Spotify Wrapped 2024

    My Spotify Wrapped 2024

    Honestly? I love Wrapped. For me, it’s a cool way to sum up the year from a musical perspective. Besides, Wrapped shows what really dominated my musical life that year, based on objective numbers, not on misleading impressions.

    For example, I was aware that I listened to a lot of music by Kasia Worek (aka Katika) – I listen to her “just because,” but I also use her tracks as a soundtrack for text-based games created in Twine and for visual novels that either don’t have their own soundtrack or have one worse than Kasia’s music. But the fact that I didn’t listen to any other artist more than her—that surprised me. Over the year, I listened to her music for 6,422 (!) minutes, which is just insane.

    She herself labeled her music on Spotify as “digital fantasy,” and I think that’s a very accurate description!

    Katika wins not only when it comes to total time spent with a specific artist, but she also dominated my top 5 most-listened-to tracks (taking 4 out of 5 spots).

    In first place, though, is “Weightless” by the English ambient band Marconi Union. I listened to this track 731 (!) times, which, at eight minutes long, amounts to 5,848 minutes spent with it. That single piece alone places Marconi Union in second (!) place among my most-listened-to artists.

    Ola played me this track after she heard or read somewhere that it’s supposedly the most relaxing song in the world. And indeed, I have to confirm—it sometimes manages to calm me down, which is very hard to achieve in my case.

    In third place is the Canadian band The New Pornographers, whose music has accompanied me for years. I learned about their existence from some paper music magazine I bought out of boredom and read while walking around Oliwa (a district in Gdańsk). Something tells me it might have been Teraz Rock (Now Rock), but I’m not sure. In the article, they were introduced along the lines of being an underrated band in Poland, masters of composition.

    Interestingly, although The New Pornographers take third place among artists, one of their individual songs doesn’t even appear until 56 (!) on the list of 100 most-listened-to tracks. That illustrates how I listen to them. For me, The New Pornographers aren’t a band of a few hits. I love every one of their albums. Each is perfectly composed, from the first second to the last. I don’t just play this or that song I’m in the mood for; I simply play The New Pornographers—entire albums in sequence or tracks randomly.

    Fourth place is funny because Dua Lipa currently has 87.5 million Instagram followers, and one of her tracks, “New Rules,” has been played 3 billion (!) times, yet somehow I made it to 2024 without knowing her music. I’d vaguely heard “Dua Lipa” here and there, but honestly, I thought it was some Polish pop star with a silly name (in Polish “Lipa” is a tree, Tilia, but in youth slang it also means something of poor quality, failure, an unwanted situation).

    She hooked me at the end of this year, but I overplayed her so much that she managed to jump into my top 5 in just two months.

    In fifth place is the Scottish electronic duo Boards of Canada. They’ve been with me for years and occupy a special place in my mind. I play them when I need that dreamy state ambient gives but still want more happening in the music.

    Here’s the playlist containing the 100 tracks I listened to most in 2024.

    I was surprised by the high (tenth) position of Tymek’s song “Mogę wszystko” (“I can do anything”). The lyrics are super shallow, but the combination of the beat and the way Tymek spits the words really got stuck in my head.

    The presence of the tracks “Teenage Recoil,” “Hollywood,” “Famous Last Words,” “Erotic Saints,” and “Lamp Halo” shows how important the album Zzyzx (2003) by the Norwegian band Zeromancer is to me. The album contains 10 tracks, and 5 of them ended up in the top 100. I listen to it when I miss Gdańsk and/or friends. In my mind, there’s a very vivid image of me wandering with a discman across the sand mounds in Przymorze (a district in Gdańsk), where later the Horyzont (Horizon) and Cztery Oceany (Four Oceans) housing estates were built, listening to that album on repeat.

    Bad Kingdom” by Moderat and “Secret Scream (Haex Remix)” by the band The Black Queen (a supergroup made up of members of Nine Inch Nails, Telefon Tel Aviv, and The Dillinger Escape Plan) are what I play when I’m buzzing with good emotions. I listen to “#3” by Aphex Twin when I’m dreamy (or I become dreamy when I listen to it). “it boy” by bbno$ always makes me grin, especially when I remember the video. I often listen to “RATATATA” by Babymetal and the German band Electric Callboy when driving to work at five in the morning. “The Hammer” by the American band Kublai Khan TX is what I play when I feel weak—it instantly makes me feel powerful. “Jedz sól” (“Eat salt”) is my favorite track by Cool Kids Of Death. I love that kind of energy in music!